MASTERING THE ART OF SELF RESTRAINT :

 “Ramadan is Muslim’s holy month. During these 30 days Muslims abstain themselves from eating or drinking”. This is what I have explained to one of my non Muslim friends. But is it really so? Does Ramadan only limited to abstaining ourselves from eating or drinking for hours ?Talking to her made me realise that we as Muslims, are also  seldom focusing on the purpose of fasting and are far from the actual meaning of Ramadan. Ramadan, the holy month given to us is way beyond the concept of stomach fasting .It is about learning self discipline ,self control, sacrifice, empathy for those who are less fortunate and downtrodden, brotherhood, it teaches us to be more pious and Shields our immorality. But the most important lesson that I want to main light in this article is 'self restraint' or self control restraint imposes by oneself on one’s own actions. Specially, in this digital era ,where we are seeing each human creation of Allah, despite of any age , being stuck to the screen, learning and training ourselves the art of self constraint is a requisite of time.

Ramadan is given to Muslim ummah as a month of training and  is perhaps the most comprehensive act within Islam in relation to promoting self-control. The lessons we learn during this month are supposed to be followed throughout the  year .This Ramadan, I’m going to learn or work over the art of self control and getting control over the things which seems difficult to get over. Let me walk you through the rules that I’ve made for myself to heed into this art of self constraint .

1.FINDING PURPOSE : 

This small step of understanding purpose of your life helps the most and can almost solve all the problems that anyone on this earth is facing right now. We have to find out the purpose of our life .We have to think more than just sitting in the corner and binge watching Netflix or Web series. When we understand the simple concept that Allah has made us for a bigger purpose, then ultimately we start prioritising thing and bringing that purpose into action .

2.PRIORITISING THINGS : 

Make a to-do list of the actions that you have to perform in a day . Take small steps and try to achieve them. Achieving small tasks brings happiness and a feel of containment and also it helps in managing the time in a productive manner. 

3.ENGAGE YOURSELF IN SOMETHING BETTER THAN SITTING BEFORE EYE DAMAGING SCREENS :

 Allah has gifted humans with  numerous activities that he can explorer or master at. Keeping ourselves engaged in activities like book reading, cooking, participating in debates ,painting , writing  ,doing ibadah or praying can  help a lot to kick-start in mastering self restraint.

 Take a target to complete particular readings of Quran .  listen to informative ,life changing podcast, listen to your favourite islamic speakers ( Dr israr sahab and brother nouman ali khan are my all time favourite). 

Take sometime out with the family and do group ibadah or listen to Muslim speakers. 

4.KEEP YOUR PHONES IN THE CUPBOARD :

Use one common phone at home and keep your personal phones in the cupboard. Decide a time ,for instance, after taraweeh or after suhoor, when you will check your phones or notifications. Initially to be honest these little acts looks lame and childish but they eventually helps.

5.BECOMING PURE INSIDE: 

One of the imperative factors of fasting is to restrain yourself not only from the eating and drinking but from all the evil deeds from minor to major. As we all know that fasting is not just about the fasting of stomach but it’s about the fast of eyes, first of tongue, first of ears, it's about your actions that you perform with your limbs.  It’s the fast of your whole body and mind. So keeping this in mind we as Muslims, can learn the discipline of controlling and preventing ourselves for many of the actions we perform that causes harm to others or to our mindfulness. This is the best of the all the disciplines that we can practice during entire Ramadan where through fasting we willingly and obediently, for entire day keep ourselves away from any of the actions or   desires. Therefore, we learn patience, we feel calm, good, and pure inside.

6.GET OUT  OF THE DEBATES OF 8 OR 20 RAKATS OF TARAWEEH : 

Spend more and more time in long long prayers and standing before Allah . Standing in qayam is a great practice to learn self restrain. The discipline needed to stand for long stretches during taraweeh prayers, concentrating on what is being recited and what meaning it might have for you, taps into our self-control. Awaking in the midst of the night to pray Night Prayers (Qi yam Ul-Layl), denying oneself of the alluring feeling to remain in the warmth of one’s bed certainly requires a significant amount of self-control. Hence, spending more and more time in ibadah can boost one’s self restraining capacities. 

Above all the most powerful  tool that helps in achieving anything is one’s determination towards it. If our will to perform or deny that act is strong then least we can depend on other practices. 

If we see, Islam itself  is a religion that is rooted in the promotion of self-control. While most ways of life involve some ritual or teaching that is based on the development of self-control, Islam seems to place a special amount of emphasis on this. From fighting off sleep to awaken before day break every morning to pray, to repeated prohibitions to watch one’s tongue, to strict instructions in regards to guarding one’s chastity and all roads that might lead to a compromise of this, the practicing Muslim is repeatedly facing situations that call upon her/him to exercise their self-control and commit to a mastery over their own selves, and the behaviours they engage in, as well as the thoughts that they entertain. Improving and building self control looks much easier than done but here is an opportunity that we can utilize to master this art and bring it into our routine for the rest of the year. 

May Allah makes us more strong and straight fast on our decisions.